Life is a constant struggle, but when it comes to the relationships with your family members, you should quench your passions and forget about this rule, because your family is above all else.
Why do younger and older generations cannot come to understanding? Psychologists state that the generation gap between children and their parents is becoming broader. This problem often pours oil on flames and exacerbates confrontation between generations. I think that every highly successful lady should be well in with her parents, especially with mom. There’s a special emotional connection between mothers and their daughters.
When I was a teenager, unfortunately I was in bad terms with my mother, because I didn’t want to listen to her admonitions and refused to stick to her rules. Frankly speaking, constant quarrels and enduring conflicts really drove me crazy. I was sick and tired of those fights and chronic emotional tension in our relationship. One day, I decided to take an effort to move the situation off the dead center. I did my best to take control of my emotions and looked at the issue from a different angle. I realized that my bad behavior and negative traits of character had significantly poisoned my mom’s life. I started working at my self-improvement in order to reach mutual understanding with my mother and develop a relationship based on respect.
If you also have a strained relationship with your mother, you should make the first move towards reconciliation. Mother-daughter relationships are very important, because mothers and daughters can be the best friends. I’m sure this article will help you change your mindset and realize that your mother is the dearest person in the world.
1. Don’t give her the silent treatment
The best technique to get what you want and exert mental pressure on somebody is to give them the silent treatment. If you think that the silent treatment will always help you achieve a desirable result, then you’re mistaken. Sure, your mom will refuse to interact with you as well. By all means, you should take immediate action to stop this cold war.
Psychologists claim that this kind of mental abuse can only escalate the conflict and fill people’s hearts with the feelings of loneliness and resentment. You should keep in mind that sooner or later, you’ll have to communicate and cooperate with your mom again. But next time she can play Old Harry with you. If you really love and appreciate your mother, you should resist the temptation of giving the silent treatment. You’d better forget about it, because silent treatment is the tactic of weak people. It’s better to handle the situation by using words and emotions.
2. Refuse to go into hysterics
There’s no doubt that hysterics is an extremely effective type of manipulation, but you’re not a little girl. If you cannot prove your case, you shouldn’t burst into tears in front of your mother. Pull yourself together and try to reach a compromise against all odds.
Every time, it seemed to me that I was losing control of my feelings, I preferred to shut up and wait until my heartache would fade away. I didn’t want my mom to absorb my negative emotions and think that I wasn’t strong and mature. It helped me reduce the frequency of hysterics and improved the relationship with my mother.
Furthermore, I noticed that constant fits of hysteria had a negative influence on both physical and mental well-being. It made me understand that my bad temper could seriously damage my mom’s health.
3. Avoid deeply offensive words
We’re living in a democratic world where we’re free to express our opinions and tell almost everything we want. Word is a unique and powerful thing that exerts a big influence on human mind. If you’re at odds with your mother, you should be careful what you say to her. Sometimes your word can be either a perfect pain reliever or a terrible weapon. Sooner or later, you’ll apologize for your bad behavior, but the words you’ve uttered and the feeling of resentment will live in her heart forever.
Everything depends on her type of character. I know that sensitive and sentimental people often take all offensive words and remarks close to heart. If you want to stop fighting with your mom and create harmony in the relationship with your family members, you shouldn’t say offensive words you might regret about later.
4. Don’t draw other family members into a conflict
I must confess that earlier I had a terrible habit of drawing my brother and dad into conflicts between me and my mom. I wanted them to support me and help us find a mutually beneficial solution. Unfortunately, their active participation and frank desire to help only intensified the problem. As a result, small and insignificant mother-daughter fights grew into long-lasting family conflicts. I learned a big lesson and realized that my bad temper made my family suffer.
I think that it’s necessary to develop the skill of resolving various conflicts without outside intervention. This is the choice of wise, mature and highly successful personalities who don’t let quarrels and disagreements ruin their happiness.
5. Enhance your communication
How often do you communicate with your mother? Psychologists say that regular communication with your parents is a normal thing that makes them happier. Lack of communication between mothers and daughters can create emotional barriers and even trigger frequent quarrels. The generation gap is not the only barrier to effective and healthy communication with your mother. The main reasons are buried deep in your subconscious mind. When you finally find the reason, you’ll be able to overcome misunderstanding in communication with your mom and bridge the generation gap in a quite short period of time.
If you feel that you’re holding grudges, you should learn to forgive your mom and give her a second chance, because life is very short. Treat your mother with respect and wholeheartedly, because she really deserves it. Mother is the best friend who can keep secrets and give a helping hand without waiting something in return.
I hope my experiences and pieces of advice will help you understand that your mother is not an enemy. She’s the one who dedicated the best years of her life to successful physical and mental development of your personality. Generation gap and different outlooks on life may lead to fights and total misunderstanding, but you should never turn your back on your mother. If your relationship is broken for some reason or other, you should make the first move and turn over a new leaf. How do you resolve conflicts with your mother? Share your experiences!
Photo Credits: JENNIFER HOUSTON